Minister's policy leads to effiencies in Government agencies

Lawmakers and law enforcement agencies of India today adopted Subodh Kanth Sahay's policy to deal with matters concerning public interest and safety.

The new policy, now being patented by the Indian Food Processing Industries minister, Subodh Kanth Sahay, involves turning a blind eye towards imminent public health hazards till someone files an official complaint. This new inventionpolicy was first demonstrated when Indian NGO, Center for Science and Environment released a report showing elevated levels of pesticides in popular soft drinks. Reacting to the report, Subodh Kanth Sahay, showing the maturity of a seasoned politician said the government will look into the issue when an official complaint is filed.

The announcement was immediately met with derision of the Minister - the announcement of patenting the policy, that is. Several law makers claimed prior art in the policy adopted by the Minster. Spokesman for the Opposition party said, "We have been using similar policy for many many years, while we may not have been so concise in our language, the policy has existed". Mr. Sahay however thinks that his policy is patentable because it is sufficiently different from prior art.

Close on the heels of the minister's policy, the Maharastra Police Department, CID, and CBI jointly announced the termination of investigation into the recent bomb blasts because no one had actually lodged an official complaint in regards to the matter.

Police Commissioner for Karnataka, Neelam Achuta Rao, said that adopting the new policy had helped his department to reduce workload of his homicide detectives. A review of all of open murder cases showed that none of the murder victims had lodged a complaint - official or otherwise, and hence the decision was made to close those cases. In fact, the policy has worked so well that many policemen could lose their jobs because many of the crimes do not lead to an official complaint.

Elsewhere, the Army Central Command, today announced the disbanding of its facilities because no one had really complained for the need to protect Indian borders. The Navy and the Air Force are expected to announce similar measures shortly.

Savings from the reduced defense budget can be used to build better hospitals and public infrastructure. Financial experts, however claim that since no one had officially complained for the need to have a better health care system and a robust infrastructure, it is unlikely that the government will spend money on such ventures.