Intelligent Design

Students in Kansas got one step closer to discovering the origins of life. The Kansas school board voted today to approve new science standards that are derived from relics such as the Old Testament ™, the Ten Commandments ® and the quintessential Bible ©. Given the leadership of Democrats, or the lack thereof, political commentators concurred that it will be a long time before America can be delivered from the religious fanatics that have a stranglehold on Whitehouse. The board belives that the new science curriculum will help students gain top posts in the Republican administration. As part of a detailed review of the subject matter the board suggested that alongside nuclear (nu-ku-lar) physics, students be taught how to throw bolts of lightening upon thy enemies.

In unrelated news, JudgeCardinal Roberts sentenced Scooter Libby to 10 Hail Mary's for his involvement in the CIA lead scandal.